Still depressed but bit better~
Thursday, October 15, 2009@10:47:00 PM
Today woke up, on my lappy to search for Philosopher PV and Ascendead Master PV cos ytd can
t find links to dlwd so I ripped them from youtube and convert. Philosopher PV makes me cry and sad because Jasmine was cremated with that costume he wearing inside this PV. While Ascendead Master was his last PV & this PV don't really show a close-up of him.
Why am I so hit hard by his demise? If you are a fan of Versailles, you will know why. For me, experiencing this kind of experience of hearing ppl dying, I had enough. For being in entertainment or my personal life, I suffered a lot of sadness. Started 11 years ago, I'm immuned to crying. Maybe that's why I like sad stories. Too immune until too addictive.
Yesterday at 9, I started to watch Jasmine You's tribute videos and his past videos. I started to cry. After that, I stumbled upon his member's translations on myspace, about him & also a long post written by his family members. Hizaki's one made me cry like mad.
I remember when on the night before he stop his activities on 3 aug, He shook Hizaki's shoulder and told him "Hizaki is the best guitarist in the world, I'm glad we were able to play together." My heart just crushed at that point. Those to me are like parting words.
I kept looking at the sky today.
Sky meant something to Jasmine.
Turn towards the blue,distant , infinite sky and whisper your problems, and your thoughts from those times will be able to ride on the flowing clouds and drift away.
If you feel lonely, we think he want you to look up in the sky, too.
But once I looked up, it's so sombre and feeling of sadness came. I decided not to look up that often. However, I felt kind of happy for his achievements that he had made during his years in HGP & VErsailles, which according to them, has made his achieve his objective. When you see his lives and interviews, you will laugh at his lame jokes and his style but that's what made him today.
Today, read comments from other Vk artists which are close friends or aquainted with him before. Some were so personal. It triggered my emotions but I didn't cry. My longing for him probably end yesterday ard 12+, the time I stopped crying. I felt that I should let go and accept the fate that he's gone. But his music, his bass, will still kept ringing in my ears.
Thinking now, he's probably with Hide & Kami... Just waiting for another moment, to wait for a vocalist. They will create their own band in their world. That thought alone just made me smile.
To pay my "late" tribute, today I wore purple t-shirt and listen to Versailles & HGP songs..It's really a terrible day but I overcome it with the thought that he's up there in a place where he won't have to suffer anymore.
